Uh Oh I Just Saw Signs
by The Second Geek
Summary: Basically the title tells it all. This is such a good movie, and such a great movie to do a parody to. BOO! New Chapter! BUAHAHAH!
1. Bo Goes BWEEEEEEEE!

This is my newest masterpiece...well I wouldn't go as far as to saying masterpiece but still, it's my newest  
  
Um it's for Signs obviously...I don't know why but lately I have been in a "Signs" mood. The first chapter isn't as funny as I want it to be, but that is only because the beginning of the movie is a little slow.  
  
Um, since this is a parody, there will be a lot of AUDIENCE moments. And I mean A LOT. Ya know comments made by the audience. Der. Well yea, and there is a character named ME well, that's me. Incase you can't tell.  
  
It's what I was thinking and saying out loud during the movie. Most of the stuff that I say is actual things I have said or thought. Tee hee.   
  
ONE MORE THING!   
  
There is another parody out there by THE SOUP NAZIS. Some of my stuff might look like hers seeing as hers is the only other parody. If she already wrote it ALL CREDIT GOES TO HER.   
  
LET IT BE KNOWN ANYTHING YOU RECOGNIZE AS BEING FROM THE SOUP NAZIS'S STORY, IT IS HER'S!!!!!!!!  
  
And I am really sorry for using it. I will try my hardest not to.   
  
Ok so on WITH THE INSANENESS!  
  
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Audience:[walks in] WOO! Alien movie!!!  
  
Me: WOOO! Mel Gibson movie!  
  
Guy in movie room: I am starting the movie now, don't forget, silence is golden.  
  
Me: yhea  
  
=Movie plays=  
  
=Incredibly long previews play=  
  
=Incredibly long credit reel play=  
  
BANG!  
  
(Shot of backyard)  
  
Me: AHHH!  
  
Audience: jumpy are we?  
  
Me: oh just you wait!  
  
Graham: [sits up] So quiet, too quiet. [Gets up and goes to kids door] like sleeping quiet. Hmmm [takes a shower, brushes teeth]   
  
Bo: BWEEEEEEEEEE!  
  
Graham: [comes out with toothbrush in his mouth] quiet no longer.  
  
=In the barn thing=  
  
Bo: BWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!  
  
Merrill: [falls most painfully out of bed. Jumps up, looking around making sure no one was looking] hehehe yea, I SO meant to do that  
  
=Graham is running, now fully dressed=  
  
Graham: [sees Merrill falling down the stairs from his barn] where are they?  
  
Merrill: [rubbing head] who?   
  
Graham: [slaps forehead]   
  
Bo: BWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!   
  
Graham: [runs][corn][sees Bo] BO!  
  
Me: Bo?  
  
Bo: it's all just a dream, a dream, are you in my dream?  
  
Graham: no I am in your nightmare.  
  
Merrill: [trips over corn] ouch.  
  
Graham: were is Morgan?  
  
Morgan: DAD! Something mildly frightening has happened.  
  
Graham: what? [Walks up to Morgan]  
  
Me: so he has a girl named Bo, and a boy named Morgan. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU MR. SHAMALAYN?  
  
M. Night Shamalayn: I promise you there is no method to my madness.   
  
Me: fantastic [settles back down in chair]   
  
Morgan: I think the wizard of oz did it  
  
Graham: uh ok. Did what?   
  
Morgan: lookee there. [Points to crop circle]  
  
Graham: what in the heck is that? [Walks into circle]  
  
  
  
Merrill: [trips over corn again and falls into circle] well [gets up] seeing as this think is in the shape of a CIRCLE and it just happens to be in out CROPS, it can only mean one thing...Bugs, where's the pesticide?   
  
Everyone (in the audience and in the movie): [slaps head]   
  
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well all right that is enough for now, I will type more later.   
  
Areviewaway! 


	2. Blackened Chicken and A Really Mad Dog

HERE IS ANOTHER CHAPTER.... yea I hope the SOUP NAZI doesn't  
  
hate me....SORRY!!! [Waves hesitantly]  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
  
In a small hick town aboot 45 miles away from Philadelphia,  
  
a man was talking on the phone...   
  
Graham: No Lee, that's not what I meant. Of course the cows wont do that. No. Listen Lee, about  
  
your son. Yea. He is freaking the crap outta my kids again. Strip club? Really? Hmm. Well if you're sure. Yea. Ok. Bye. [Turns and sees kids]   
  
Morgan: the dog pissed himself.   
  
Graham: [in a monotone voice] isn't that something special...go outside I will clean this up.  
  
Me: the puddle looks like a squirrel [gets stuff thrown at me] OUCH! [Gets a shoe in the face] HAY THAT WAS A SHOE!   
  
Audience: [giggle]  
  
Graham: [cleans up pee-pee and sees Caroline]  
  
Caroline: boo  
  
Graham: AHHHHH! How did you get in here?  
  
Caroline: [shrugs] stealth elf like powers.  
  
Lord of the Rings Freaks: WOOOO! ELVES RUUUUULE!  
  
Graham: (note to self: padlock doors) right well, uh it took you a while.   
  
Caroline: yea we had a bit of a problem down at the gas station.   
  
Graham: eh?  
  
Caroline: [casually] yea, some prankster thought it would be funny to blow it up.  
  
Graham: I see.  
  
= Outside=  
  
Morgan: [turning char blackened chicken over] he's gonna burn these again.  
  
Me: a little late fer that buddy.  
  
Morgan: [walks over to Bo] what are you doing?  
  
Bo: Water. Bad.   
  
Morgan: uh, just give it to the dog.   
  
Bo: No. Bad. Water. Hurt. Dog.  
  
Morgan: no it wont, just give it to him.  
  
Bo: Whatever. [Pours water in]  
  
Dog: grrrrrr.  
  
Bo: eep.  
  
Morgan: don't run.  
  
Me: Why? So the dog can kill you faster?  
  
Dog: [BARK!]  
  
=In the field=  
  
Caroline: I dunno Father; I still think its bugs.   
  
Graham: [slaps forehead] [Crouches down]  
  
Caroline: well I think you are the only person here with this problem Father.   
  
Graham: eh?  
  
Caroline: well I was over at the only other farm mentioned in this movie, you know the-  
  
Me: heh?  
  
Audience: SHUUUUSH! Important part!  
  
Caroline: and he would have mentioned something like this.  
  
Audience: great we missed something!  
  
Graham: any reason in particular that you were over there?  
  
Caroline: well, it's the animals, they hare having spaz attacks, you now? They are acting scared and stuff, you know pissing puddles that look like squirrels...  
  
Me: HA!  
  
Graham: oh poopers. [Stands up]  
  
Caroline: what's wrong Father?  
  
Graham: Don't call me Father.  
  
Caroline: ok Daddy  
  
Audience: oh lord help us.  
  
Graham: kids being quiet again  
  
=Backyard=  
  
Graham: [runs up to Morgan] WHAT THE HECK?!?!?!  
  
Dog: [dead]  
  
Morgan: we had to kill it. It was going to kill us. I guess the water was Bad.   
  
Graham: darn that is just freaky.   
  
Caroline: told ya  
  
Graham: well then, come on Morgan, let's go inside and have a fit. [Extends hand]  
  
Morgan: [bites hand] LEAVE ME ALONE! [Stomps off]  
  
Me: wow problem child.  
  
Graham: [cradling hand] ouchie. [Picks up Bo]   
  
Bo: Told. Morgan. Water. Bad  
  
Merril:[walks out carrying a bag Oreo Flavored Potato Chips]  
  
Graham: [to Merrill] stupid, tie up the other dog.  
  
Merrill: [falls down stairs spilling chips everywhere] dammit! Ok  
  
Caroline: [pulls a ax out of the dog] where did he get this?  
  
Me: this movie just keeps getting better and better.  
  
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WEEEEE! MY MUSES LIKE REVIEWS YOU KNOW.  
  
And I know, at least SOME of you want to please Orlando Bloom, or Johnny Depp. (yea...they are my muses..)  
  
GO REVEIEW AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! 


	3. What Scares Me First

Sorry it has taken so long for me to update. You see I have 9 other stories I am working on. One main one that I have an obsession with..It's my precioussssss. Ok no more Gollum. MORE SIGNS PARODY!

I LOVE ALL OF MY REVIEWERS! But unfortunately I cannot do review replies because this computer doesn't have internet access!^_^

Ok so I will do replies next time!

p.s. I tried really hard with the whole conversation about the mom, I wanted to make it funny, but it was so hard. So if it sounds like I tried to hard you know why. 

!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~

=Night=

graham: [cough-snort-mumble-snort-snore]

Bo: [little cough]

Graham: [grunt-snore-snort-snoooooore-giggle-snort-snore]

Bo: [BIG COUGH]

Graham: [opens eyes quickly] may I help you?

Bo: there's a monster outside my room-

Me: [COOOOOOOOUGH]

Bo: -water?

Audience: ?!

Me: tee hee.

Graham: there's water next to your bed [rolls over] go back shleepy [closes eyes]

Bo: [pokes graham's butt] 

Graham: [snaps open eyes] Ahh! [rolls over] WHAT?!

Bo: I can't drink it, Morgan spat in it. 

Graham: that is just disgusting. [gets up]

=in Bo's (well and Morgan's) room=

Bo: mom is dead right?

Graham: yea I am pretty sure she is. 

Bo: but you talk to her.

Graham: I do.

Bo: does she answer?

Graham: no, but Elvis did once. 

Bo: …..

Graham: [sees Alien on the roof] Bah!

Me: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! [starts to sob] THAT [sob] WAS [sob] SO [sob] SCARY! [sob]

Audience: no it wasn't.

Me: I TOLD YOU I SCARE EASILY!

=Downstairs=

Graham: [turns off tv and stands in front of it with his hands on his hips]

Merrill: [wakes up due to lack of tv] no tv make me go guuuuuuuh

Graham: what?!

Merrill: sorry. Wasn't fully awake just then. What is up?

Graham: well Lionel Richey and the Backstreet boys are back.

Audience: I thought…Wolfingtion brothers…BACKSTREET!?!…Richey? Owie my brain hurts.

Manic bsb lover still hanging in waiting for their next Big Hit that is never gonna come: WOOO BACKSTREET BOYS!

Me: right.

Merrill: Rock on!

=Front Door=

Merrill: so we are gonna jump 'em with knives, and scream about how Santa is going to take over the world! Make them think we are insane you know? ^_^

Graham: that is a really bad idea.

Merrill: *_* well then, how about we just run around the house screaming our asses off. We can do it the nice CHRISTIAN way even though you don't believe in GOD anymore. 

Graham: that wasn't funny. 

Me: I agree. 

Audience: [throws more stuff at me]

Merrill: I don't care let's just do it!

Graham: OK!

=Running around the house=

Merrill: IT'S TIME FOR SOME *&^ ^&@* @*&# *@&#&#*@ **!#^) @*#^@* *@&!^&$( @&@^ [ ß words so bad they don't even exist]

Graham: we are going to hurt you and make you cry for your mommy and poopy in your pants!

Me: [slaps forehead] he is supposed to be like 40 right? SHAMALAYN!

M. Night: Hmmm?

Me: WHY IS THIS CHARACTER AN IMMATURE WIMP!?!?!?!

M. Night: just watch.

Merrill: COME ON GRAHAM KICK IT UP A NOTCH!

Graham: I DON"T SWEAR THOUGH LIKE THE GOOD NON CHRISTIAN MAN I AM!

Merrill: DO IT JUST THIS ONCE!

Graham: FINE! YOU ARE GONNA DIE YOU BITCH! YOU MOTHERFUCKERSLUTSHITHEADANDSMALLPRICKEDONE!

Me: wow. 

Merrill: MUUUUUUUUUUUUUCH better!

Graham: haaaaaaaa-aaaa! [Mad eyed]

Alien: IIIIEEEEEE! [Makes a running jump for the roof. Misses. Hits the side of the house. Slides down it.]

=Merrill and Graham run smack in to each other and fall backwards=

Graham: [rubbing head] ouch. 

Merrill: [hears thump on the side of the house, mistakes it for being on the roof] what the hell was that? [Looks up]

Graham: [joins his brother in looking up] dunno. 

=They look at each other then back up at the roof]

Alien: [regains consciousness. Runs around the OTHER side of the house. And with elf-like stealthness, runs behind Merrill and graham, and jumps over the swingset. Misses it. Makes it fall over. Jumps into the corn. Barely.] Stupid humans.

Graham: [hears someone say something] heh? [Turns around sees knocked over swingset] hmmm. 

=And the creepy music plays=

~!!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~

HI HEATHER! 

Hehehe

There you all go!

Bweeeee heeeee heeeeeee!


	4. I am a Sissy

ALLRIGHT!  I know I haven't updated this story in a while, but my other stories were holding me hostage until I updated them, 

Hey anyone see Scary movie Three? It was Stupid, but Hilarious. Really.

Anyway.

______~~__________

=Creepy music is still playing=

Me: this music is really scary…

Audience: Please shut up?

Me: not in your life. 

Audience: damn.

=In the house the next day=

=Caroline is talking to Morgan=

=About walkie talkies=

Caroline: so you see…they are like cell phones.

Morgan: but with cell phones you can call anywhere.

Caroline: kids are so cute [pats Morgan's head] did you know that baby monitors are just as good?

Morgan: um, no they're not. They only work one way.

Caroline: so cute [pats head again]

=In the family room=

Graham: [bumps into table, spilling glasses of water everywhere] ahh! 

Bo: [not taking eyes off the tv] walk much?

Graham: what is it with all this water?

Bo: do the words "Important-for-the-plot" mean anything to you?

Graham: ah, I see.

=Back at the table= 

Caroline: so, Merrill, how is work at gas station going?

Merrill: well seeing as it just blew up the other day..[Shrug] I'm not complaining.  Did you find out who done it yet?

Caroline: well we have a few leads, but no not really.

Merrill: [falls out of chair]

Me: how thick can you get?

Merrill: [jumps back up] I am good! [Puts arms in air] I am GOOD!

=Graham walks back in= 

Caroline: OK! Well let's brain storm about this guy, tell me everything you can about him, who do you think it is?

Graham: well judging by the height, arms that were WAY too long, funny shaped head, and all around inhuman look, I would say it had to have been an Olympic Scandinavian runner/high jumper. Woman's division that is. 

Me: 0.0 [cough] right well….

Caroline: that is an interesting explanation, and it sounds pretty good to me. Savvy?

Merrill: I dunno, 

Me: wait, she said savvy!

Caroline: actually it's pretty logical, I mean Woman Scandinavian Runner/High Jumpers, visit this little hick town all the time aye?

Audience: [slowly shakes head]

Me: um, is she channeling the sprit of Jack Sparrow?

Bo: the TV has crapped out.

Graham: look under the couch.

Bo: ? [Walks out really confused]

Merrill: what else could it be besides the Woman?

Caroline: um, a bug?

Me: [slaps forehead]

Bo: [walks back in] you are an ass, now come look at the TV.

=Everyone walks into the family room and stares at the TV=

Man on TV who looks like Einstein: crop circles are scary, sometimes people make them, or do they?

Graham: um.

Man on TV who looks like Einstein: crop circles appeared first in –548873777 b.c.  But they died out in 1987, so people forgot about them. And now they are back….

Everyone: *_*

=About three minutes later outside=

Caroline: I am going back to the station; this shit is just freaking me out. I am gonna see if coffee can help this. 

Graham: it probably wont

Caroline: I know…listen, you and your family are being real brain dead losers right now, why don't you go into town and have a little fun ok? ^_^ It would be good for your soul. 

Graham: sounds like fun.

Caroline: bye bye….daddy. [smile][leaves]

______~~______________

beuuum

ok there I go. 

Have fun, and review on your way out. 


	5. They NANCE!

I am just telling you all right now, that this chappy will be a short one. I have to go and watch the movie again to get the fullness of it. But hey! A chapter is a chapter aye? Even if it is a little short. 

~~~

=Town=

=Well actually en route to Town=

Bo: [is insanely poking Morgan in the eye.]

Morgan: [very calmly] ouch. [slowly reaches up and pushes Bo's hand out of the way] turn on radio…NOW!

Everyone in car: [jumps]

Merrill: [hits head on dashboard as he goes in to turn on the radio] 

Person on Radio: -therefore the crop circles are trying to tell us that the aliens have no lives. In other news, Michael Jackson-

Graham: [quickly shuts off radio] No, I don't think so.

=More Creepy Music and an overview shot of them driving=

me: and the point of this shot is…?

Audience: everything seems normal….

Me: The truth is out there.

Audience: …?

=Parking Lot thing=

=everyone gets out of the car=

Morgan: gimmegimmegimme.

Graham: needy are we? [hands Morgan fifty, Morgan takes off with Bo trailing him] (yells to Morgan's back) I want change!

Merrill: [attempts to sneak off, crashes into a tree, falls backwards flat on his ass.] Ow. That hurt. [gets up starts walking off again.]

Graham: well I am just going to go to the…pharmacy….[also runs off]

Me: (V.O) and everyone nances off.

(there is the sound of popcorn being thrown at me.)

~~~

Alright, short but sweet. I promise a longer chapter next time. So woo!

Did you know that I have to change my summary almost everytime, just so you guys know when I have updated? It's because my fellow Signs mates never update, so my story always stays at the top! 

This is a message to all my Signs brothers and sisters..Update!!!


End file.
